My friends always want to split the bill equally, how do I say no?

One friend orders two cocktails. Another "just wants to try" that £16 truffle arancini starter. But you stuck religiously to tap water. So when the waiter places the card reader on the table at the end of the night, you are facing a social minefield.

Even if you are sober enough to manage the mental arithmetic, you will be hard-pushed to overrule the jolly friend who shouts: "let's just divide it equally!"

"When we eat out, we always just split the bill," says Ella, a communications assistant from Leeds.

The 23-year-old says she never suggests to her friends they all just pay for what they've ordered as "it just feels awkward".

Ella earns over £30,000 but some of her friends earn more and she finds it hard to say no if they want to go somewhere a bit fancy that she can't really afford. Instead she matches her order with theirs so she isn't left feeling short-changed.

It is worse when it's a big ticket item like a holiday.

When that happens, rather than tell her friends how she feels, she scrabbles around for extra money.

"I'm probably on the phone to my mother in secret asking to borrow that extra bit of cash," she says.

Her reluctance to speak up reflects a wider trend.

Research from the Money and Pensions Service (MaPS) in 2025 found that only four in 10 adults do feel comfortable talking to friends about money, with women significantly less likely to feel okay discussing finances with friends (39%) compared to men (50%).

Ella says money is almost never discussed within her friendship group. They have booked a four-night beach holiday costing around £680 each for flights and accommodation and they are using a bill-splitting app to log expenses before balancing everything at the end.

"We never really consider if something is affordable or not," she says. "We all pay the same, no matter your salary."

Rolling into the restaurant and announcing you won't be footing your friends' booze bill can make you feel like a bit of a buzzkill if others are planning to live it up. But experts suggest that is best way to tackle the problem: be open from the start.

Laura Pomfret, chief executive of women's finance community Financielle, says people worry that speaking up will ruin the atmosphere. But friends often respond positively if you are honest about your financial situation, she says.

"If you know you have a limit on what you can afford, say it at the beginning rather than sitting through the meal hoping someone else suggests paying separately," she advises.

She also suggests:

• Decide beforehand: If an event is outside your budget, save for it in advance or skip it altogether